Dear Brothers and Sisters,
A recent Singapore court case caught my attention.
A CEO sued his former girlfriend to recover S$468,090 that he had spent on her during their relationship. The High Court dismissed his claim, finding that most of the money had been given as gifts rather than loans.
The spending included about S$206,000 in credit-card charges, S$129,000 on overseas trips, S$30,000 for an executive programme and S$17,000 for a feng shui master.
But beyond the money, there is a much deeper Biblical lesson.
WAS IT REALLY A GIFT?
The CEO had previously told her, “No need. I am not a money lender,” and told her that she should not be shy about using his money.
But after the relationship ended badly, he sought to recover the money.
This makes us ask:
When we give, do we really give?
Or do we give while secretly keeping an account in our hearts?
Jesus said:
“But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.”
Matthew 6:3
Biblical giving is about the heart.
If I give you something as a gift, but later use it against you when our relationship breaks down, was I really giving freely?
The Bible says:
“God loves a cheerful giver.”
2 Corinthians 9:7
Giving should not become a tool to control another person or create an invisible debt.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE WOMAN?
There is another uncomfortable question.
The court heard that the woman had been seriously dating another man since April 2023, while her relationship with the CEO continued until December 2023. The CEO alleged that she had misled him about their relationship being genuine and exclusive.
So, was she faithful?
If they had agreed to be in an exclusive relationship, then Biblically, no.
Faithfulness matters.
The Bible says:
“The integrity of the upright guides them.”
Proverbs 11:3
And Paul tells Christians:
“Each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor.”
Ephesians 4:25
If someone is committed to one person while secretly pursuing another, that is not consistent with Biblical faithfulness.
However, we must also be fair.
The judge found there was no objective evidence that the couple had actually discussed whether their relationship was serious or exclusive. Furthermore, evidence showed that the CEO himself had sexual relations with other women during the relationship. So neither party can easily claim the moral high ground.
That makes this case even more sobering.
MONEY DOES NOT MAKE A RELATIONSHIP FAITHFUL
Perhaps the greatest lesson is this:
Generosity does not purchase faithfulness.
A person can spend S$468,000 on someone and still not have a faithful relationship.
Likewise, receiving expensive gifts does not give someone permission to be dishonest or unfaithful.
Money cannot buy love.
Money cannot buy loyalty.
Money cannot buy character.
And money certainly cannot buy righteousness.
WHOSE MONEY ARE WE MANAGING?
As Christians, we should go one step deeper.
The Bible says:
“The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it.”
Psalm 24:1
Everything ultimately belongs to God.
Our salary.
Our businesses.
Our investments.
Our properties.
Our savings.
Our wealth.
We are not permanent owners. We are stewards.
Therefore, before we spend large amounts of money on someone, we should ask:
Is this what God wants me to do with His money?
And before we accept someone's generosity, perhaps we should also ask:
Am I taking advantage of this person's generosity?
And before entering or remaining in a relationship, we should ask:
Am I being truthful and faithful before God?
DON'T GIVE WITH AN INVISIBLE RECEIPT
There is a powerful lesson here for all of us.
If you give, give freely.
If it is a loan, make it clear that it is a loan.
If you expect repayment, communicate it clearly.
But don't give someone a “gift” today and present them with the bill tomorrow because the relationship has ended.
And equally, don't accept someone's generosity while deceiving them about the nature of the relationship.
Both are matters of the heart.
Jesus said:
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Matthew 6:21
Our money reveals our hearts.
So does the way we receive money.
And so does the way we treat people.
THE REAL QUESTION
This case is not ultimately about S$468,090.
It is about character, faithfulness, generosity and stewardship.
Before we give, let us ask:
Am I giving freely or expecting something in return?
Before we receive, let us ask:
Am I receiving responsibly or taking advantage of someone's generosity?
Before we enter a relationship, let us ask:
Am I prepared to be truthful and faithful?
And before we spend God's money, let us ask:
Would the way I use this money honour the One who entrusted it to me?
The world measures success by how much we can afford to spend.
God measures us by how faithfully we manage what He has entrusted to us.
Faithful stewardship is not about becoming wealthy. It is about being faithful with whatever God has placed in our hands.
Blessings,
David Poh
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